


𝙎𝙪𝙥𝙚𝙧𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙤 𝘼𝙐 𝙎𝙤𝙪𝙩𝙝 𝙋𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙭 𝙍𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧: Mysterion

by protractor



Series: South Park x Reader - Superheroes AU [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, F/M, Gen, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, M/M, Other, Reader-Insert, South Park: The Fractured But Whole
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-16
Packaged: 2021-03-14 17:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29175261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/protractor/pseuds/protractor
Summary: You've chosen to pursue Mysterion, the immortal Netherborn who is actually more lonely than he thinks.***𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗰𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗶𝗴𝗵 𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗹, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗱𝗼𝗲𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝗼𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗧𝗙𝗕𝗪, 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗻𝗼 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗞𝗶𝗱 𝘂𝗻𝗳𝗼𝗿𝘁𝘂𝗻𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗹𝘆. 𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗻𝗲𝘂𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗹 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲, 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝘁 𝗶𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂
Relationships: Kenny McCormick/Reader, Mysterion (South Park)/Reader
Series: South Park x Reader - Superheroes AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2137434
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	1. Lunch Detention

The chatter and bustling of students in the hallway is a mild buzz in your head, as your favorite song plays for the 3rd time in your earbuds. Another day at South Park High, and you have yet to have a good night’s rest this month. All the criminal activity has you worn out and exhausted, it leaves barely enough energy to go to school and maintain your grades. 

“Hey there y/n, are we still up for setting a bag of dog shit on fire in front of Mr. Lumbardy’s door?” Stan’s voice is like a blade, cutting through all the background noise and music in your head. You turn to your left and take out an earbud.

“Sounds like fun, but I can’t. I have a fuck ton of work to do and Howie and Carlos won’t get off my dick until I get it done,” you sigh dejectedly as you shut your locker. “Maybe next time guys.”

“You never have time for us anymore, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy you know,” Cartman interjects in a whiny tone, clearly upset about your busy schedule. You merely respond with a roll of your eyes.

“It’s not my fault I am so busy, but I will try to make it up to you guys, okay?”

“Don’t worry about it y/n, we understand. Well, ¾ of us anyway…” the pudgy boy glares at Kyle for the last sentence, but only huffs and crosses his arms. You feel bad for blowing them off so much, but you have to do this work by yourself. You can’t risk them getting hurt, or worse.

“Mrmm mphh mmm mrmphh,” Kenny reassures you with a pat on the back, and you offer a small smile to them, “thanks Kenny.”

Before any of you could speak any longer, the bell rings and the students start dispersing into classrooms. You guys split up, and Kenny walks with you to your guys’ first period: chemistry.

~~~

It was honestly a mystery as to how Kenny managed to stay in chemistry, since all he does is make stink bombs, and actual poison. Not that you’re ungrateful for his presence in this class, Kenny makes your classes a lot more entertaining. 

“Ugh… time to spend the next hour and a half trying not to give ourselves third degree burns,” you nudge the teen sitting next to you, who has already pulled out a Playboy magazine. He scoffs and gestures towards the model featured on the page he was looking at. Her breasts were out and she adorned a lovely smile, you gave a low whistle. 

“As long as nothing happens to my girls here, I’ll be fine.” You resist the urge to roll your eyes, as if Kenny Mccormick could ever score with these ladies. He may be really attractive with his boyish charms and mischievous grins, but you know that they’re much too old for the underaged pervert. 

“Yeah yeah, now c’mon Mccormick, these chemicals aren’t gonna mix themselves,” you roll up your sleeves and tug down your goggles. 

~~~

Detention time, possibly the most boring time you could ever have. A seemingly endless hour of just staring at the desk and trying to entertain yourself in the most minimalistic way possible. 

How you got here was a whole ordeal. So maybe you accidentally dyed the lab station hot pink, but it wouldn’t have happened if Kenny hadn’t kicked your legs out from behind. And although you didn’t exactly _have_ to twist his nipples to 180 degrees, they had to understand that it was all to protect your own dignity. 

A drawing of a crude stick figure version of you with three enormous dicks going up your backside is slid onto your desk, and you turn your head to see the artist who so generously gave this to you. 

You mouth a “fuck you” before breaking out in a smile and scooting your desk up to his. He laughs quietly and instantly starts whispering to you. 

“It’s sad how detention and class are the only ways I get to hang out with you,” his eyes flicker to Mr. Mackey, who was currently high off his mind from a Tegridy Burger. “I rarely even see you during passing period.”

Your lips quirked slightly downwards, you know you haven’t been spending time with your friends, but you didn’t have a choice. 

“I’m sorry Kenny,” were the only words you could say for now. You’d love to explain to him everything that’s been going on with you and the town, that is if there were no repercussions or risks of him getting in harm’s way. 

“It’s okay, I just wish you’d tell us what’s going on so that we could understand better, or even try to help,” he frowns, “you can always count on us y’know.”

Those words send a jolt of pain in your chest, and you wince as his face contorts into an unreadable expression. You hate when Kenny is sad, because you always thought that he looked much better with a smile on his face. 

“I do trust you guys, but I don’t wanna burden y’all. It’s honestly just boring school stuff and it’s not anything you need to be concerned with.”

His brows furrowed and you knew that he didn’t completely buy the whole school work excuse, but he didn’t say anything more about the topic. The blond merely folded his arms on his desk and used them as a pillow. Half lidded, sleepy blue eyes peer up at you, his hood engulfed his head, but left some strands of gold peeking out on his forehead. 

Kenny always wore his orange parka, it was trademark Kenny Mccormick. Quintessential to his being. The only difference is that he doesn’t sound as muffled anymore, as he just doesn’t zip up his parka all the way. Though, the hood still stayed on. 

“Just wish you could get a break from everything going on in the world.”

You smile fondly at the blond teen, “you and I both know the world doesn’t stop for anyone.” But despite yourself, your hand still reached out to give him a gentle pat on the head. 

The bell rings and lunchtime is over, only two more periods to get through and you’ll be free to go home.


	2. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An evening walk that was meant to clear your head lands you in a tense standoff with a mysterious person...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mysterion is referred to as they/them for this chapter because reader is unsure who they actually are. Later on in the story he will be addressed as he/him since reader will then know who he is

Kenny trods in the snow, his boots crunching on it as he flattens it down with his weight. He’s walking you home today, like he’s done so many times before. He claims it’s because he wants to protect you, but you and him both know that he just wants to hold off on going home for a little longer. Not that you minded, quite the contrary really; he is great company to have around. 

Karen always joins you guys too, the only times she doesn’t is when she’s going over to a friend’s. She’s grown up a lot since the time when you and her big brother were in fourth grade. You didn’t particularly enjoy being around those in the younger crowd, but you’d always make an exception for Karen. 

Kevin, Kenny’s other sibling, moved out of the house. He works in some mechanic shop in Greeley, not having the resources to continue going to school. He comes down to visit from time to time, mostly for his siblings. 

You broke the silence, “I thought you had plans with the others today Ken.” Wasn’t he supposed to wreak havoc after school today, along with Eric, Stan and Kyle?

He shrugged in response, “I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. I have to walk Karen home too you know.”

Karen indignantly stomps down on the snow, sinking a little bit as she grips her backpack straps tighter. “I can walk home by myself Kenny! I’m not little anymore.”

You laugh as said blond boy flicks her forehead, “still little compared to me. So I still have to walk you home.”

The two bicker and you watch them, amused at their interactions. Kenny always treated his sister like a princess, and you did the same for her. You cared for her like she was your sibling too, always offering to buy her small treats, or taking her out to have fun and enjoy being a kid. All you wanted from her was for her to be happy. 

“This is my stop,” you pause in front of your driveway, looking up at the cobblestone path leading to your door. Turning to Kenny and Karen, you smile warmly at them.

“Thanks for keeping me company, get home safe you two.”

After exchanging goodbyes, you get inside and climb the stairs, not eager to continue your fruitless search for the source of all these crimes in town. 

These aren’t any regular crimes South Park deals with on a weekly basis. The crimes that are being committed are precise, targeting specific people, especially those who have a reputation in the community. 

First it was the homicide of narcotic supplier Troy Lickins, the second was the arson of the Peppermint Hippo, and the most recent one was the kidnapping of Phoenix Wong, the heir of the Wong family.

All victims of these crimes had one thing in common: power. Lickins had a monopoly over the drug deals (except for weed, Tegridy had that covered), the Peppermint Hippo was the most popular strip club in the county, and the Wong family is a prominent part of the Chinese mafia. 

You scratch your scalp, stressed out of your mind as you try to recall those who would want to get rid of these people. There was Mitch Conner, but he’s been inactive since Cartman has been too busy lately. Mayor McDaniels hasn’t been doing anything shady lately, you can vouch for her since she frequently requests for you to guard the city hall. You’re running out of ideas. 

Before you know it, the sun bleeds away into the horizon, and nighttime will soon come. A tired sigh is all you can muster out as you lean back in your chair. You shield your eyes from the dim lighting cascading from your desk lamp, and you can feel a headache coming on. 

“Jesus christ, I need some fresh fucking air.”

You slip on your coat and put on some sneakers before going out for the evening. 

~~~

Kenny rummages through his closet to find his suit and cloak, a lit cigarette is caught in between his teeth as he hurriedly cards his hands through his unorganized wardrobe. After finding the dark purple cloak and costume, he immediately strips himself and pulls the damn thing onto himself. 

An alert was sounded, and the Freedom Pals were to be assembled. He opens his window and slips out into the back alleys of South Park, where he hopefully won’t run into anyone. 

Unfortunately for him, he was running in the same direction you were going. 

Your hands are stuffed in your pockets and your eyes are glued to the ground. This walk was leading you nowhere, but you didn’t mind. Your mind needed to wander and your feet felt like doing the same. Letting your pure instincts guide you, you find yourself in some nooks and crannies people normally wouldn’t venture through. 

These nooks and crannies were all too familiar to you, you had every passageway, tunnel, shortcut and alley memorized in South Park. Having spent too much time disarming wanted criminals in them, or chasing down some stubborn villains in the dead of the night, you knew this town better than your math formulas. 

Your eyes were still on the ground until out of your peripherals, you see a shadow flicker. It was the most subtle movement, but your trained eyes immediately picked up on it, and you perked up like a hunting dog. That shadow was definitely not from an animal, you could see limbs and what appeared to be fabric flowing behind this person. 

‘Who could possibly be jumping about on rooftops wearing capes right now? Sounds pretty stupid if you ask me…’ you think to yourself as you pulled yourself onto the ledge of a building. Time to get some cardio in. 

Swiftly bounding from roof to roof, and making sure to keep some distance between yourself and them, it wasn’t difficult to catch up to this mysterious person and stay undetected. It wasn’t until they suddenly jumped down that you decided to hold back. 

You peeked your head over the ledge and watched as they made their way to the gated residential, specifically Token’s gate. Was this some kind of robbery or heist?

The cloaked person climbs over the brick wall, and something inside you kicks in. You launch yourself off the building and lunge forward to grab the person. So they were planning to rob Token and his family! You may not be using your vigilante persona, but that doesn’t mean you can sit by and let this person commit a crime in front of you!

“The hell do you think you’re doing huh?!” You assertively ask as you tussle with their larger frame. With a twist and a push, you had them pinned and pressed against the brick wall, with their arms secured in your grip. “Trying to rob the Blacks’ residence tonight? Not on my watch.”

Kenny, or in this case, Mysterion, shuffled and tossed in an unsettled manner. He was being restrained, by none other than you! Normally he would enjoy this, but this is not one of those times. He was snapped back to reality when you pushed his face further into the cool bricks.

“Ow! You’ve got the wrong idea here!” He growled in that signature Mysterion voice he always put on. “Now get off of me, they’re expecting me.” 

“How can I be so sure that you’re not lying? Who puts on a mask and a cloak to meet their friends when it’s nighttime, answer me that first,” you weren’t letting them go, not until you can be sure that they have no malicious intent in mind.

With a gruff groan, Mysterion kicks his legs behind him at your shins. While you were momentarily stunned by his sudden outburst, he maneuvers himself out of your grip and spins around to meet your eyes. His expression is one of confusion, and disbelief. You have denied the groups’ offers to join their superhero organization, always telling them that you had no superhuman abilities nor combat training, and that you weren’t interested in that kind of heroism and action. But from what he just saw now, your past words contradicted themselves. 

“My name is Mysterion, I am no criminal, or villain. My job is to protect this town, trust me, I am not a foe,” he holds up his gloved hands for emphasis. Your shifty gaze softens a little bit, but only a little. You’re still on guard.

“What, you some kind of hero? Then what are you doing at the Blacks’ house?” 

This was where Mysterion was stuck, he couldn’t tell you their hideout, that was against the Freedom Pals code. Maybe they could let it slide, since you were also their friend, and he knew they could trust you. But then again, you were pretty adamant on not wanting anything to do with superheroes.

_~ awhile back… ~_

_“I’ve told you guys, I don’t want to be part of it,” you gathered your math books and closed your locker. You turn to the three boys who have been pestering you about their brand new superhero group that was totally inclusive and about equality, and how they wanted you to be a part of it._

_“Why not? You obviously don’t need superpowers, I mean if you ask me, Craig’s powers barely count as one.” Token tries persuading you once more, not taking no for an answer. You sigh and run a hand through your hair._

_“I’m sorry y’all, but I’m not one for heroes and all that, I’m not into it. I also just can’t see myself as one,” you lie to them straight up, because you don’t want them to be mixed up in your own line of work. You know they have these crazy abilities and can handle themselves, but you’ve seen firsthand what this line of work can do to people who get involved in it._

_The last thing you want is for them and this town to get hurt. You’ll just have to work alone._

_“I honestly don’t even think you guys should be doing this, it sounds reckless and dangerous,” you scratch the back of your head, “third period is about to start, I’ll see you guys after school alright?”_

_“Please y/n, just think about our offer. We know what we are signing up for, and we can handle it. We just want you to join us in protecting this town. You would be a brilliant addition to our team.” Kenny pleads, his hand reaching out for your shoulder._

_“Timmy…” the boy in the wheelchair speaks up, and you almost feel bad for declining their persistence. Timmy looks really disappointed. But all you respond with is a shrug of your shoulders and another deep sigh._

_“Sorry again guys, maybe you can find someone else.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so cartman isn't going to be in freedom pals, just to let yall know. he will be in his own franchise, which is just him lolol. loosely based off the ending of tfbw, where he is left by himself in coon and friends.
> 
> thanks for reading :)


	3. Bus Rides

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kenny is so head over heels for you but he doesn’t even realize it smh, he thinks it’s a small crush but boy is so in love (/ω＼)

Mysterion wistfully recalls the times when you very vehemently rejected their offers of becoming part of their team. You were dead set on not wanting anything to do with it, and although he was a bit hurt by it, he still respected it. 

“What I have to do here doesn’t concern you. Just know that I am here to protect you, not harm you,” he gently takes your hands into his own, Mysterion could tell that you were a little cold, more specifically your hands. He gives them the little warmth he can provide for you, and he looks up to see your widened eyes and parted lips. A subtle smile graces his lips as he stares at you fondly. 

“Now go home, you and I both know how cold South Park gets, especially at night.”

You slip your hands out from his and turn around to hide the increasing warmth in your cheeks. You wrap your arms around yourself and indignantly scoff, “yeah yeah, I trust you for now. If I see that the Blacks’ got robbed on the news tomorrow, I’ll find you and kick your ass.”

A chuckle comes from behind you, you can practically envision the smirk he must have on right now, “I believe you.”

“Well goodbye now Mysterion, remember what I said! Ass kicking will happen, I promise you that!” You run off and start your trek back home. 

Mysterion watches your form fade out into the distance, and tiredly sighs. He finishes what he came here to do, albeit he had to explain why he was so late and the misunderstanding between you and him (giving Tupperware and Mosquito a good laugh). 

On the other hand, you made it back home, with a new problem in mind. Mysterion huh? Another vigilante? And it seems he is part of a bigger organization as well. Maybe it is the Freedom Pals thing that Timmy tried to recruit you in. You wouldn’t be surprised if they went through with that, but it would mean Mysterion was someone at your school. Truthfully, you didn’t know who was even in Freedom Pals. 

Honestly, the only information you have about the organization came from Kenny, Timmy and Token. They were the main persecutors in trying to get you to join after all. You did hear that Wonder Tweek and Super Craig were in it as well, but they weren’t working together. For now, you will just have to add it to the list of questions you need answered. 

“Look who finally came home,” Uncle Howie slurs from the top of the staircase. 

“Move, you’re standing right in the middle,” you tilt your head up to get a good look at the big guy. Overweight from bulky used-to-be muscle, and a bunch of beers, with a receding hairline, he looked more like a burnt out dad than a retired superhero. But looks could be deceiving, for you know better than anyone that Howard still has it in him. 

“Fight me then, I’ll take you on right now,” he cracks his knuckles and his lips curl into a smirk, his mustache moving alongside it. You steady yourself into a stance of your own. 

“Both of you move, you’re blocking the way,” Uncle Carlos speaks up behind Howie, and you both shift to the side, allowing him passage downstairs. You guys have had way too many encounters with Carlos’ anger, and you weren’t trying to get your ass beat right now. 

“How was your bath baby?” Howard asks his husband, fawning over how he looked in his fluffy robe and how his wet, dark hair was wrapped up in a towel. You gagged and shut your room door behind you before you could witness more of Uncle Howie’s simp behavior. 

It was odd to think that these two middle aged, bent out of shape, gay men used to protect the world, but it was thanks to them that you could put up a good fight. 

“Where would I be without them…” you change out of the clothes you initially wore, and finish whatever homework you were assigned today. It was only 10pm, but you’d rather sleep now so you don’t look like hell tomorrow. But as you lay in bed, it was harder to drift off than you thought. 

Your mind went from the mysterious crime family who wanted to take over South Park, to the Freedom Pals organization. The more you pondered about it, the more you realized that there must have been a meeting at Token’s tonight. Mysterion could have been Clyde, Kenny or Kyle, literally any of those guys could have been Mysterion. 

You knew it couldn’t be Token, simply because he is black and Mysterion’s complexion didn’t match his. Not Timmy, Timmy was wheelchair bound. Not Jimmy either. Cartman was too fat, and he is excluded from Freedom Pals. As for Craig and Tweek, you already knew their superhero personas, so they’re out of the question as well. 

Clyde, Kenny, Kyle, Stan, hell even Wendy. Word on the street says that she joined a super secret group, and Freedom Pals seems the most likely. You toss around on your bed, sighing exasperatedly at the thought of your friends putting themselves in unnecessary danger. 

It doesn’t matter if Kyle could fly and have laser shooting eyes, or if Kenny couldn’t die, because there will always be enemies stronger than you. Pain and loss is inevitable in this world. They’re all untrained, not refined enough. Their inexperience in fighting crime doesn’t help either, and you wished they heeded your warnings. 

But, they can do what they want, and you respect that. With that final thought in mind, your brain decided to finally shut down for the night. 

~~~

It was Friday, and Kenny was extremely thankful for that. Last night’s meeting was especially stressful, as it was the first one they had in months. South Park had fared well without their help, so the Freedom Pals weren’t really active. The police seemed to be able to maintain all the evil in this town, despite their racial bias. 

Then again, the silence was just a build up for something big. A new villain was on the horizon, and they’ve already shot down some of the big people who ran South Park. Who knew who was next on the chopping block? Freedom Pals will need to put an end to this person before anything else. 

For now, he just needed to focus on the two boys next to him at their bus stop. 

“Morning Kenny, you going on patrol tonight?” Kyle inquires as he adjusts the straps on his backpack. The blonde looks up to see his two of his friends, Stan and of course Kyle. 

“Someone has to watch over this city,” he laughs, his hood muffling the noise. “It’s okay though, I’ll just do my rounds and go home in the morning.”

“Maybe not, you might get into some action tonight. Timmy seemed sure that there was some kingpin mafia boss around,” Stan scratches the back of his head, “it’s a pretty rare occurrence for Timmy to be wrong.”

Kenny sighs dejectedly, “well it wouldn’t be the first time some kingpin guy tried taking over South Park, What did Timmy say about him again?”

Kyle responds, “oh, he said that the Russians might be targeted tonight, at the old bar northwest of South Park. Something about how whatever happens there could give us a clue to where this mystery villain could be.”

Kenny nods, “right, looks like I’ll be busy tonight then. This patrol is going to be a lot more exciting than I thought.”

“If you run into trouble, you can always call for backup,” Kyle reassures him, and Stan claps him on the shoulder. They’re a dependent bunch, and Kenny knew that. He just didn’t look forward to tonight, he had a gut feeling that it was going to be the start of something big, and ugly. 

But deep down, his sense of justice stirred. In his heart, he knew that if he wasn’t there to protect the town he’d grown to be attached to, South Park could be obliterated off the map.

A hint of a smile shows on his face, and he looks up at the clouds overhead. He may hate this town sometimes, and how it always attracts trouble, but he loved the people in it. Especially his sister, his friends and...

“So how was running into y/n?” Stan shifts the topic onto you now, a mischievous grin on his face, “heard they gave you a bit of trouble.”

Kenny barked out a laugh, putting his hands in his pockets while thinking back to the moment, “they put up a good fight, but nothing I can’t handle. I’m considering asking them if they want to spar next time I see them in costume.”

“The almighty Mysterion got pushed up against a wall by a civilian teenager, heh.” Kyle steps on the back of Kenny’s shoes in lighthearted fun, and the blonde spins around to flip him double birds. 

“I would never actually hurt them of course…” he discreetly smiles to himself, a habit he does whenever he thinks about you. 

“Of course you wouldn’t, you’re in love with them for fuck’s sake,” the redhead and ravenette chortle and tease poor little Kenny for his puppy crush on you. Between them, and Cartman of course, he has been drawn to you ever since elementary school. You attracted Kenny like attracted flesh. 

“I think me being ‘in love’ with them is a stretch, but yeah they’re pretty cool,” Kenny tried playing it off and failed tremendously judging by his beaming face and glowing cheeks. 

“Whatever man, keep lying to yourself. But I think you should shoot your shot before the school year ends, they are real cute, and I think you two have more chemistry than anybody else in the school,” of course Kyle is the one to say these words. His fraternal instincts kicking in, or perhaps maternal. 

“Don’t think so, I don’t seem like their type.”

“Hey don’t lie to yourself dude, you are totally their flavor.”

Abruptly, a new person arrives at the bus stop, his large shadow coming into view, “hey fags, what’s going on?”

Stan is the one to reply. “Nothing much, we’re all just talking about y/n.” Kenny narrows his eyes at the boy. 

“Oh right, Kenny’s fuck buddy, jack off material, dream person, soulmate, etc. etc.” Cartman rolls his eyes and scoffs, “seriously Kenny, ask them out. Next time I see you eye fucking them, I am going to barf.”

“I can only pray that it won’t just be my eyes fucking them,” Kenny snidely giggles as the others either roll their eyes or laugh along with him. The bus shortly arrives afterwards and he takes a seat next to you. 

“Hey gorgeous, saved a spot for me?” He winks at you with a toothy grin, showing off that tooth gap you’ve come to adore. You chuckle lightly and shift your backpack over to your lap. 

“Nope. This seat was for my backpack but you had to go and take its spot,” you poke your tongue at him and he can’t help his intrusive thoughts. Nothing dirty surprisingly, but you were just so cute in your own way!

Wordlessly, you offer an earbud to him, so that the both of you can listen to your playlist together. Kenny accepts and scoots closer to you, not caring what the other boys think of his obvious affection for you. He knew in his heart he was whipped for you, ever since 5th grade. 

The pounding of his heart only quickened when he glanced at you. Your side profile was so pretty, and your chin rested in the palm of your gloved hands. Eyes were half-lidded as you watched the ongoing blur of the town outside the bus, audible music sounded from your earbud. Your moment was interrupted when you felt a pair of eyes on you. 

Your pupils darted over to Kenny, who admired the scene before him, and you raise your brow, “hm? What’s up?”

The blonde could only tilt his head at you, and smile, “you have a single strand of nose hair coming out, and it is _long_.”

With a grunt, you swipe at your nose with your fingers and wipe it on his arm, to which he let out an offended yelp.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!!!!


End file.
